Motivating Your Children by Understanding Their Temperament

Parents filled the classroom at Holy Trinity Church to listen to Art Bennett, the last Parenting Series speaker, on how to “Motivate Your Children by Understanding Their Temperament.” Art Bennett is Director of the Alpha Omega Clinic and Consultation Centers, a licensed marriage counselor and family therapist for twenty years.  For more information about the Alpha Omega Clinic, visit their web site at:  www.aoccs.org   The Alpha Omega Clinic also is involved with True Presence and Alabanza web hosting in running the Unity Restored web site, www.ur.solcionxpress.com The purpose of the web site is prevent and solve problems related to pornography.  In addition to the book “The Temperament God Gave You” which he co-authored with his wife Laraine, they are ready to release a book about marriage and the temperaments.

 

Art explained that all parents want their children to do well and to be the best they can be and knowledge of the temperaments can be helpful.  The temperaments are not a full indication of a person’s character, but they can help people grow spiritually just as the church has used them.  Our present culture places work before family and therefore presents a greater challenge for parents who want their children to get to heaven as well as develop good character and personality.

The temperaments can be historically traced back to Hippocrates, who lived 460-377 B.C. and who was the father of medical science.[1]  Hippocrates said that the names of the temperaments, or four humors, which shape our moods, emotions, and behaviors, are related to the four fluids, also called humors, which circulate in our bodies.[2]

·         Choleric:  yellow bile from the liver.

·         Sanguine:  blood from the heart.

·         Melancholic:  black bile from the kidneys.

·         Phlegmatic:  phlegm from the lungs.[3]

 

Art gave a basic overview of what the temperaments are and how they can help you with your parenting.  Art noted that weaknesses are not wrong but just things that you need to work on or gain experience and they help parents recognize how they can help their child grow.  Everyone has two temperaments, where one is dominant.  Temperaments are how you tend to react and a temperament doesn’t change.

Cholerics are the most powerful because they are “Type A” personalities and leaders who like responsibility and are often very opinionated.  They often are argumentive and disrespectful, though they find joy and happiness through hard work.  Parents can think of the choleric child as somebody with a spoon who likes to stir things up.  They are extraverted and need to learn docility.

Sanguines are people persons who love to party but they have a hard time performing or working for people they don’t like.  They are extraverts who think charm is the answer, and as the parent, you need to tell your child when it’s “Time to get to work!”  They need to “connect the dots between fun and work.”  Often sanguine children are misdiagnosed with ADD or attention deficit disorder.

Melancholics love ideas and principles.  They are very detailed oriented and make decisions slowly because they like to think things out.  For example they will be the ones reading all the paperwork before signing anything.  Melancholics are introverted and will only argue under condition or when challenged.  They need to learn interpersonal skills and charity.

Phlegmatics are dependable, polite and even tempered.  They hate to argue because they want to blend in  and make it work.  They are introverts who are slow on decisions and often unorganized because they say yes to everything.  Parents who give them encouragement will help them learn to succeed with their own initiative.

Art and Laraine have been married 31 years and have four children, each with one of the four temperaments.  Throughout the talk Art gave examples of how the temperaments have shaped their own family and how they see one another’s strengths and weaknesses.  Their book, “The Temperament God Gave You” will give you perspective on understanding your family and insight on how to get along with others.

 

Date Published: 2008-07-02 06:00:00

Section: Local News,